We have run out of ideas. What other conclusion can we arrive at?

I had planned to sit and write something about the Modern Olympics (might be a few days away now) when Dallas started on Channel 9. Now I remember Dallas ending some 20 years ago. I can proudly state that I have never watched an episode, but that might have something to do with my age. It did run for 13 or 14 years but in a world of Pay TV where there are an endless number of channels willing to re-run old crappy shows, Dallas isn’t being re-run. How good could it have been? Why do you remake it? I can think of only 3 reasons:

1. You have exciting ideas and stories but lack a platform, so to tell your stories you allow those stories to be told under a previously used title;

2. Network execs are shit-scared of making a wrong decision so they don’t decide on anything and hope that tested formats still work; or

3. We have run out of ideas.

There is so much good television to watch out there, I cannot afford to watch remade (or reboots of) crappy tv shows from the 80’s. Get some Dexter, Breaking Bad, Entourage, Mad Men, Boss, An Idiot Abroad, Extras, 30 Rock etc into ya. Well written, original ideas will always sell.

When Charlie “#winning” Sheen went off the rails and was politely asked to remove himself from Two and a Half Men,why try to replace him? Why does it still need to be called “Two and a Half Men? It could have been a fairly funny show under a different name. Spin offs can work… Frasier was watchable, and CSI:Miami is pound for pound the best comedy to come out of the States.

Movies are not immune to this phenomenon. There was a new Spiderman released this year. The Sam Raimi directed “Spider-man” is only 10 years old.  It’s even worse to think that the third installment of that series was released in 2007. Was there a need for “The Amazing Spider-man” too? Granted the movie was actually pretty good, but it seems to be the exception, not the rule.

Hangover 2 was shit… there I said it. They are making a third, due for release 2013. Let me guess (potential spoiler alert!) – Phil, Stu and reluctantly their friend Alan get drugged and have the night of their lives that they somehow, inexplicably, can not remember (hey guys, watch your drinks! Alan roofies people for fun), which leaves them looking for a friend in an unfamiliar city to make their flight back for (change-up!) the birth of  Doug’s first.

The first movie was fantastic.  Think of it as being like the first time you got a hand job, ie someone foreign actually touching your junk. Wowser. 

The sequel (I imagine both) however, is more like a handjob from your wife. It’s ok and certainly nothing wrong with it. You’ll certainly get off. But meh, I’d rather we just had sex.

There are times when the sequel is needed. It would have been a crime against humanity had Godfather II not existed. The Empire Strikes Back,another example of a fantastic sequel. Both are great movies and add to their respective franchises, but importantly both had massive revelations. which is key here.

We haven’t run out of ideas, but they seem to be dying under a growing pile of shit, in pursuit of the quick dollar.

I guess my rant will end here, with a plea. If you have a good idea, do whatever you can to execute it to the extreme. If that idea is a television show that gets rejected because the Dallas reboot got green lighted, go to HBO. They recognize quality, they allow time for an idea to flourish, they are experts in execution. Who has the courage to be Australia’s HBO?